Emoticons Mean Everything
by browneyesonly4
Summary: We all know that communicating through electronic means is often difficult. Words are misinterpreted, sarcasm missed…and small things can easily be blown out of proportion. Tiva.


_**A/N: **_This is entirely in written communication. There may be breaks for a bit of _action_ but nothing in the realm of voiced dialogue (except for the esteemed Gibbs). So. If this bugs you, I don't suggest you read it.

_**Secondary A/N: **_I totally know I've been lacking on the 'update' front lately, and I really apologise. Imagine this one as, like, a small one-shot after the last episode, okay? ::smiles:: As normal, I couldn't do any of this without **surferdude8225**!

_**Summary:**_ We all know that communicating through electronic means is often difficult. Words are misinterpreted, sarcasm missed…and small things can easily be blown out of proportion. Tiva.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Mm, I don't own anything. I actually stole this idea (the written-communication-only theme) from an amazing book called _Dear, Rosie_. I love it. I believe that I don't own NCIS. I do own a baseball cap that says NCIS on it, and I made myself an NCIS sweatshirt, but other than that, I own nothing.

* * *

**1000 Hours  
3 March 2011**

**Davíd:** Tony, could you perhaps stop typing so loudly? I can barely hear myself think. Thank you.  
**DiNozzo:** Oh, please. It isn't that loud.**  
Davíd:** Actually, it is.**  
Davíd:** Okay, now you are just doing it to annoy me.**  
DiNozzo:** You can't prove that.**  
Davíd: **No, I cannot. I am sure, however, that Gibbs could easily make you stop.**  
DiNozzo:** Psh, not like he can type any better than I can…_**  
Davíd **__has signed off._

"Back to work, DiNozzo," Gibbs snapped from behind his Senior Field Agent. He didn't forget to add his famed slap to the back of Tony's head before sweeping to the elevator.

* * *

**1300 Hours  
3 March 2011**

**(#4235: **Ziva**; #5563:** Tony**)**

**#5563: **Ziva, where are you? Gibbs wants to know.

**#4235: **I know. The traffic to McGurdy's was outrageous. I am on my way back now.

**#5563:** Look, Ziva, I'd suggest you start bringing your lunch. Gibbs doesn't like it when his Probationary Agents abuse his generous gift of lunch time.

**#4235:** Since when am I "abusing" anything? I went to pick up lunch for my team, and the traffic is backed up because a semi tipped over on the expressway. I hardly think that is my fault.

**#5563:** That's yet to be decided.

**#5563:** Wait, you got me lunch from McGurdy's? What did you get me?

**#4235:** You will have to wait and see. ;)

* * *

**1500 Hours  
3 March 2011**

**Davíd:** So, you never told me. Did you enjoy your lunch?  
**DiNozzo:** So, I definitely did. Thank you. Didn't know I liked curry until today.

Tony smirked over her computer screen as Ziva met his eyes.

**DiNozzo:** Hey, stop batting those beautiful browns at me and get to work.  
**DiNozzo: **Gibbs is behind you.  
**DiNozzo: **Chill, he's not really behind you.  
**DiNozzo:** Are you okay? You look kind of sick. Or like you're about to cry.  
**DiNozzo: **Why aren't you answering me?  
_**Davíd**__ has signed off._

Ziva stood and flounced from the office, to the stairs, and down to the lobby. Tony watched her on her quest for the door to the staircase, with furrowed brows.

"Where's she goin'?" Gibbs snapped, setting a disposable coffee cup on his desk with a muffled 'thud'. He didn't wait for Tony to answer. "DiNozzo, McGee: get your bags and meet me at the car. Dead Petty Officer in Fairfax."

**#5563: **Dead Marine in Fairfax. I don't know where you went or who you're with, and I don't care, but Gibbs looks pissy and I'd highly suggest you meet us at the car before we leave, or you'll be driving by yourself to the crime scene.

**#5563:** Ziva, you didn't answer me earlier and you didn't show up to help investigate the crime scene. Is everything okay? Call me later to tell me what happened. I'd like to know the whole story. As Senior Field Agent, I was looked to for answers and I didn't have any, so I said your great aunt had passed away.

**#5563:** That was a joke. Why aren't you replying to me?

**#5563:** Look, if you're in some sort of trouble, you know I've got your back. I've always had your back and I always will. You're my partner. So if there's something I should know, please, tell me.

**#4235:** I cannot talk now. I will call you later.

**#5563:** What's wrong?

* * *

**0800 Hours  
4 March, 2011**

**DiNozzo:** How're you holding up? =/

Ziva stared across the aisle at her teammate, an expression of sheer disbelief gracing her features.

**DiNozzo: **Right. I'm sorry.  
**DiNozzo:** I know this is impersonal—and that I said this last night on the phone—but if there's anything you need, please let me know. I'm at your disposal.**  
Davíd: **This is _not_ the place, nor the time, to have that conversation.**  
DiNozzo:** Understood.**  
Davíd:** Later, we shall discuss this further.**  
Davíd:** Promise.**  
DiNozzo:** Okay._**  
DiNozzo**__ has signed off._

* * *

**1100 Hours  
4 March, 2011**

**Skullsxandxbullets:** Wait, so he legit left you? Did he give a reason?  
**Davíd:** No, he did not. How did you get a different handle for your instant messenger?  
**Skullsxandxbullets: ***shrug* Can't really say, here. We're always being watched. Ask McGee!  
**Skullsxandxbullets:** Anyway, that's off-topic. What happened? Why did he leave you?  
**Davíd:** I don't know; his reasons were poor. For one, he just felt that the distance was too great. He also said something about how my work seems to play a rather larger role in my life than he is comfortable with.  
**Skullsxandxbullets: **Ass hat.  
**Davíd:** Pardon?  
**Skullsxandxbullets: **He's being an ass hat. What, they don't say that in Israel?  
**Davíd:** No…**  
Skullsxandxbullets: **That's a bummer! I really like that one. Ummm….it means something along the lines of 'jerk off'. Do you know that one?**  
Davíd: **That one, I know. L.o.l.**  
Skullsxandxbullets: **::quirks eyebrow:: No, Ziva. That would be 'lol'. No periods.**  
Davíd:** Oh…**  
Skullsxandxbullets: **Anyway, that's (again) completely irrelevant. What did you say to him?**  
Davíd: **I was fine with it until he brought Tony into the situation.**  
Skullsxandxbullets: **:-O**  
Skullsxandxbullets:** _No one_ brings Tony into things! No one!**  
Skullsxandxbullets: **What did you say?

_**Davíd**__ is typing… … …_

**Skullsxandxbullets: **No, no, wait! What did _he_ say? What did he say about Tony?

_**Davíd**__ has stopped typing._

**Skullsxandxbullets: **Uh…Ziva?**  
Davíd: **He said that I was too close to Tony DiNozzo, and that I needed to figure everything out with him before I could even think of having a relationship. I asked him why he thinks I am too close to Tony, and he said that he comes up far too much in conversation.**  
Davíd:** Abby, I rarely talk about him at _all_. The last thing I wanted to do was let Tony ruin another relationship!**  
Davíd:** Not that he necessarily ruined what I had with Michael. In fact, he very well might have saved my life. Other boyfriends, though…**  
Skullsxandxbullets:** Ziva Davíd. You love him, don't you?**  
Davíd:** Ray? No.**  
Skullsxandxbullets: **No, not Ray. Tony.**  
Davíd: **No! Of course not! How could you possibly think…**  
Skullsxandxbullets: **Just wondering.**  
Skullsxandxbullets:** Ugh, Major Mass Spec found something. Come down asap. Xx Bye!_**  
Skullsxandxbullets **__has signed off._

* * *

**Elflord:** Tony, I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop changing my username to 'Elflord'. It's getting old.**  
DiNozzo:** Sorry.  
**Elflord:** …No 'McFaerie' or 'McFly' or 'McGiggles'? Are you feeling alright?**  
lflord:** As a matter of fact, Tony, you've been really quiet all morning…What's up?**  
DiNozzo:** Nothing. Have you gotten through the firewall yet?**  
Elflord:** The guy has several layers of firewalls up; it'll take me a few more hours. Why are you avoiding the question?**  
DiNozzo:** Let me know when you find whatever it is this bastard was hiding._**  
**_

_**DiNozzo**__ is typing… … …_**  
**

**Elflord:** I DID IT.**  
DiNozzo:** You did what?**  
Elflord:** I expected more from you, Tony. Anyway, I breached the firewall. What were you saying?**  
DiNozzo: **Forget it.

Lies. It was all lies. Across his screen, the words, 'As if it weren't bad enough for me to sabotage my own relationships on purpose, I've now inadvertently, single-handedly ruined Ziva's' were scrawled. Direct pressure on the 'backspace' key erased them.

**McGee:** You know me. I don't 'forget' anything…**  
DiNozzo:** I'm your superior, Tim. I'd suggest you forget whatever I tell you to forget, okay?**  
McGee: **Is that a direct order?**  
McGee: **Right. Forgotten._**  
DiNozzo**__ has signed off._

* * *

**1400 Hours  
4 March 2011**

_Dear Ray,  
I think it would be best if we do not try to fix this. There has already been_

_Dear Ray,  
I understand that your job is stressful and that sometimes, I will not understand what you are going through. But that does not mean you can_

_Dear Ray,  
I cared about you. Why are you doing this to me? I ask for permanence and you give me heartbreak…You said this all had to do with Tony, but there really isn't anything going on with him. I promi_

_Dear Ray,  
How __**dare**__ you accuse me of cheating on you with my partner? Your partner's really attractive, too, but I do not __**ever**__ accuse you of messing around with her on the side. I am completely offended and I think it would be better if we do not try to work through this. You obviously do not respect me, nor do you trust me, and a relationship cannot last if there is not trust and_

_Dear Ray,  
I will drop your things on your porch.  
-Ziva_

* * *

**1500 Hours  
4 March 2011**

**#5563:** Hey, Zeev; I was just wondering if you'd be up for drinks a little later. There's a little free concert tonight at the Square. Kind of a soft jazz. I've heard they're great. Call me and I'll give you details. -Tony

**#4235: **That would be fine. –Ziva

* * *

**0900 Hours  
5 March 2011**

**#4235:** What happened last night?  
**#5563: **If you don't remember, I'm not telling you.  
**#4235: **Why not?  
**#5563:** To save your dignity. Haha.  
**#4235:** What is that supposed to mean?  
**#5563:** Take a wild guess.

_**Davíd**__ has signed on._  
**Davíd: **Tony! I don't _know _what happened last night. So, would you do me the common courtesy and just tell me what happened?  
**DiNozzo:** Nope.  
**Davíd:** You are being cruel.  
**DiNozzo:** No, you're being naïve.  
**Davíd:** _What did I do?_  
**DiNozzo:** ;)  
_**DiNozzo**__ has signed off._

And over the computer screen, brown eyes turned a steely shade of black ice, and Tony was both scared to tell her and scared to ignore her.

* * *

**1000 Hours**  
**6 ****March 2011**

**From:** rayofsunshine**  
To: **zivadavíd

_Dear Ziva,I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. So sorry. It was harsh of me to accuse you of having an affair with Special Agent DiNozzo.  
_

_Take me back? I love you.  
-R_

**1200 Hours  
6 March 2011**_  
_

**From:** zivadavíd  
**To: **rayofsunshine

'_Dearest R',  
It seems like it has been a long time since I last told you that. We thought we were so clever; 'If we use only first initials, no one will find out'. Well, they did._

_ Unfortunately, Ray, you summed my life up quite well. I do not have room for a relationship right now. You fell into a small hole that quickly filled back up once I returned to NCIS Headquarters, where I have my family and coworkers to worry about and manage._

_ I will not lie to you and tell you that your words did not sting, but I have since found something else to keep me preoccupied._

_ It was much fun while it lasted,  
Sincerely,  
Ziva_

* * *

**DiNozzo:** Why does it seem like every time I see you, you look like you'd rather have your tongue ripped out than to talk to me?  
**Davíd:** That is not the case.  
**Davíd:** Stop looking at me like that.  
**DiNozzo:** Only when you tell me what's going on with you lately.  
**Davíd:** Nothing is going on with me.  
**DiNozzo:** Like I said earilier; I don't believe you.  
**Davíd:** You spelled 'earlier' wrong.  
**DiNozzo:** Stop deflecting my questions.  
**Davíd: **Then stop asking stupid questions.  
**DiNozzo:** I only asked one. Why do I feel like we're playing Ring-Around-the-Rosie…?  
**Davíd:** I am playing nothing.  
**Davíd: **Simply go ask EJ Barrett.  
**DiNozzo:** What are you talking about?  
**Davíd: **Nothing. Forget it.

_**Davíd**__ has signed off._

**DiNozzo:** I can't.

* * *

**#5563:** I don't understand you. -Tony

**#4235: **Why?

**#5563: **Because. You say you don't care about what happened, and that it was a one-time thing, and I, therefore, tried to convince you that it was _not_ a one-time thing...And then you completely ignore me for days on end.

**#4235:** I am not ignoring you. If I were, I would not be answering you. I just know that you are not yet the commitment type, Tony, and therefore I do not want you to have to settle down because you feel bad for me.

**#5563:** Who says I feel bad for you? Who says I don't actually care about you?

**#4235: **Because if you 'actually cared' about me, you would not be texting me about this. You would be confronting me in person.

**#5563: **Oh, well, go open your door.. =]

* * *

**Skullsxandxbullets:** Did you hear about Tony and Ziva?  
**Elflord:** Yeah, finally.  
**Skullsxandxbullets: **I think it's so wonderful!  
**Elflord:** Abs, have you been listening to your _Wicked_ soundtrack again?  
**Skullsxandxbullets:** Yes.  
**Skullsxandxbullets: **But that's beside the point. They _finally_ got together. Isn't that just awesome?  
**Skullsxandxbullets: **I mean, hey, it's Tony and Ziva. Didn't you write Tommy and Lisa together in your book? And what happened to Amy!  
**Skullsxandxbullets: **She'd better not be marrying McGregor.  
**Elflord:** Relax, Amy, she's not.**  
Elflord:** Correction: Relax, Abby, she's not.  
**Skullsxandxbullets: **And because of that, I don't trust you.  
**Elflord:** Do you think Ray is completely out of the picture now? I mean, back to Tony and Ziva. Do you think Ziva and Ray are totally done?  
**Skullsxandxbullets:** Let's hope so. He treated her like crap.  
**Skullsxandxbullets:** Worse than I would treat you if you wrote Amy and McGregor getting married.  
**Skullsxandxbullets:** Understood?  
**Skullsxandxbullets: **Oh, by the way, you really need to fix your screen name. Elflord. ;)  
**Skullsxandxbullets**_ has signed off._

* * *

"Leon, this is my team, not yours," Gibbs snapped, standing and sweeping to the door with the intent to slam it behind him as he escaped the room.

Vance stood, as well, shaking his head. "Jethro, don't you think you're being a bit rash with your judgments?"

The silver-haired gentleman took a few steps toward the Director. "You think_ I'm _being rash?" Narrowing his eyes slightly, he knew the ice-blue orbs were communicating his disgust. "Who's the one who wants to fire two of NCIS' finest agents, just because they decided they loved each other enough to risk their goddamn jobs?"

"Well-put," the other man said through a smile. "You may go."

"I'm not firing Tony and Ziva." Gibbs didn't care about his tone at this point. If Tony and Ziva went, he didn't want any part of NCIS. None of it. His team would be more than half-gone. So if two of his agents were fired, he'd be going with them.

"I know."

Vance sat down as the Team Leader warned, "And neither are you." With that, Gibbs left the room.

And Leon Vance was, for once, at a loss for words and toothpicks.


End file.
